Breaths of Fresh Air

This morning I woke up and headed straight for the coffee pot. It was early and I had to have my youngest dropped off for a fundraising event his football team was participating in today. In those minutes that the coffee was brewing I walked over to the patio doors and stepped outside. The sun was shining, the temperature was still crisp but it was a glorious morning. I stood outside in my nightgown and robe, lifted my face to the sun and took a deep breath.

I dressed, took my son to his event and on the return trip home I was stopped at a red light. I had the sunroof on my car open, I lifted my face again and took a deep breath.

Once I arrived home I took our dog outside and ran around the yard with her. Tired from running in circles around the pool (she's a chihuahua) I dropped into a chair and did it again. I lifted my face to the sun and took a deep breath. This time I thought about what I was doing. Thought about how each of those breaths this morning filled me with life. They energized me, made me feel good, made me feel happy. I felt new, refreshed and ready to take on whatever the day had in store for me.

It was air, fresh air that did this.

Later I got to thinking about an expression. The one we use to describe a person by saying....they are like a breath of fresh air.

It's wonderful to have someone in your life who is that breath of fresh air. A person to fill you with life. A person who energizes you, makes you feel good, makes you feel happy. A person who when with you....will take on the day right along with you. A person who can breath life into a dull existence. A person who can raise the level of joy within simply by being near. A breath of fresh air.

We all need that breath of fresh air. It's nice to stand outside and soak it up. Even nicer to stand near someone special and soak them up.

indeed.

These Are Mine....

Three times this week I had occasion to talk about something that has been on my mind. It's not been the best of times for me lately in a personal sense. Lots of things have challenged me, family health issues, job stress and a few other things have weighed on me heavily.

I was on the phone with my friend Sara and she heard something in my voice that made her ask what was wrong. She was the first to hear what's on my mind. I told her...The first fifty years of my life were consumed by either my parents, my husband or my children...and I would like whatever years I have left to be...mine. We laughed and joked about what I said and that was it. She didn't grasp that I was serious. Then in an email exchange with a friend I said virtually the same thing. This time I got a whole hearted agreement from a woman who both knows me and understands me. Late this morning I told my daughter about both conversations and reiterated my thoughts on my years left. She responded with her usual...Oh Mother.

Oh Mother is the verbal equivalent to an eye roll. She's twenty four and I will excuse her innocence and naivete. She does not know what it's like to look back and see the bulk of one's life behind them and already spent. See the bulk of one's life devoted to family and obligation. She does not know the desire one can have inside to be free of obligation, be relieved of duty. She does not know what it's like to wish to not have to answer to anyone, not have to make sure all is right and where it belongs at all times. She does not know what it is to feel caged and kept. She simply does not know. I dearly hope she never does.

I say these things without regret and without qualms about how I spent my time. I am not wishing to turn back time, time that made me the woman I am. I am simply musing of what time is left on the books. What time is ahead for me to enjoy and I would dearly like to be able to say....this is my time.

My time.

Indeed.