My youngest had a bad night Friday. He got into the Varsity football game for a few minutes at the end of the 4th quarter. The team had a comfortable lead and the coach was playing the younger kids. The trouble hit when he snapped a ball to the quarterback who bobbled it and dropped it. The fumble turned the ball over and my youngest was back on the sidelines.
He was uncommunicative on the ride home from the game. He simply did not want to talk and stared straight ahead. Apparently he'd been beating himself up over the fumbled ball and had decided it was his fault that the quarterback dropped it. He was embarrassed, he felt badly. He knew everyone saw it. One of the few things he said... was the thought that everyone saw it made him feel so stupid.
When we pulled into our driveway I had had enough. I felt badly and didn't think he should be so hard on himself and told him so. I told him that he was going to fumble many more balls during his playing years. I told him everyone fumbles, the best players fumble. It's a mistake but it's going to happen. No one means to fumble. I know he's heard this all before but I still needed to say it. Don't be so hard on yourself.
The truth of the matter is that, in life as well, everyone fumbles....not just football players. We all do. Later that night I lay in bed thinking about all of the things I had fumbled in my life. It's not easy to look back at some mistakes. Sometimes the memory is as painful as the event itself. I felt some familiar stings as I recalled particularly troublesome fumbles I'd made in the past. Things I wish never happened, things I wish I could forget, things I wish no one else knew about.
Fumbling isn't so bad when no one knows, no one sees. We can retreat and recover privately. We can take a shot at redeeming ourselves with no one the wiser. No one waiting and watching to see if we fumble again. Private fumbles can be brushed off and we can move on with no one but ourselves to face.
Public fumbles are quite another matter. Sometimes we see the grimace on another's face, hear their disappointment as we bobble and drop our "ball". We feel that white hot burst in our stomach as we struggle to keep our composure. We try so very hard to keep our head up as we walk on, as our faces burn with the thought of feeling so exposed. We beat ourselves up because we know people saw us. People saw us fumble.
Sometimes just remembering the fumble, brings back the shame, brings back the embarrassment. Remembering that someone saw it is difficult to bear. Sometimes there are people who can't resist reminding us of our fumbles, reminding us that they saw it. Some people just can't resist taking a measure of pleasure from another's mistake, another's misstep. They watch and judge as if they never have made a mistake themselves. As if they don't know the feeling.
Unfortunately not everyone fumbles under bright lights with a big crowd watching....but they should. Everyone should. Just so they know what it feels like.
Indeed.
He was uncommunicative on the ride home from the game. He simply did not want to talk and stared straight ahead. Apparently he'd been beating himself up over the fumbled ball and had decided it was his fault that the quarterback dropped it. He was embarrassed, he felt badly. He knew everyone saw it. One of the few things he said... was the thought that everyone saw it made him feel so stupid.
When we pulled into our driveway I had had enough. I felt badly and didn't think he should be so hard on himself and told him so. I told him that he was going to fumble many more balls during his playing years. I told him everyone fumbles, the best players fumble. It's a mistake but it's going to happen. No one means to fumble. I know he's heard this all before but I still needed to say it. Don't be so hard on yourself.
The truth of the matter is that, in life as well, everyone fumbles....not just football players. We all do. Later that night I lay in bed thinking about all of the things I had fumbled in my life. It's not easy to look back at some mistakes. Sometimes the memory is as painful as the event itself. I felt some familiar stings as I recalled particularly troublesome fumbles I'd made in the past. Things I wish never happened, things I wish I could forget, things I wish no one else knew about.
Fumbling isn't so bad when no one knows, no one sees. We can retreat and recover privately. We can take a shot at redeeming ourselves with no one the wiser. No one waiting and watching to see if we fumble again. Private fumbles can be brushed off and we can move on with no one but ourselves to face.
Public fumbles are quite another matter. Sometimes we see the grimace on another's face, hear their disappointment as we bobble and drop our "ball". We feel that white hot burst in our stomach as we struggle to keep our composure. We try so very hard to keep our head up as we walk on, as our faces burn with the thought of feeling so exposed. We beat ourselves up because we know people saw us. People saw us fumble.
Sometimes just remembering the fumble, brings back the shame, brings back the embarrassment. Remembering that someone saw it is difficult to bear. Sometimes there are people who can't resist reminding us of our fumbles, reminding us that they saw it. Some people just can't resist taking a measure of pleasure from another's mistake, another's misstep. They watch and judge as if they never have made a mistake themselves. As if they don't know the feeling.
Unfortunately not everyone fumbles under bright lights with a big crowd watching....but they should. Everyone should. Just so they know what it feels like.
Indeed.
