Influence

I had a conversation with a friend this morning and the talk turned to the subject of influence. My friend had related a story about another person, one who manages to make her examine things in her life, difficult ones. One who is a good influence, one that helps her grow as a person. I thought about this long after our conversation ended. I spent some time thinking about influences and who has influence over me.

Did you ever wonder why a person has influence with you, how it is that they can turn you around, make you think, make you examine something, make you open up? What is it about a person who can make you listen to them, yield to their way of thinking, make you change your thought process?

I am not easily influenced. I know my own mind, I'm firm in my convictions. I never quibble or flounder about once I make a statement, commit to a decision. This comes from neither arrogance nor stubbornness nor narrowness of mind. It is simply my way, it's how I am. I am very self aware, I spend a lot of time in self examination. I don't necessarily need another person to help me in that department. Or so I think.

Precious few individuals can make me change my mind, make me turn in another direction, make me take a different tack. I will always listen to another individuals point of view, listen to what they are saying. I love to listen and learn how people think, learn how their mind works. I will always ask you of your opinion on something but it is a rare occurrence for me to change mine because of something you have said.

So I thought about influence today. I thought about who actually does influence me, who can turn me around, change my direction. I thought about why it is they influence me. Why they have that ability, why I allow it?

One friend is tough with me, says it just like it is. They do not hold back, mince words, beat around the bush. I will be told I'm wrong (can you imagine?), I will be told I need to change my perspective, I will be told I don't know everything. I will be made to face something I don't want to, admit what I am avoiding, deal with what I wish to ignore. I will argue with this friend, but I will listen. I listen to this other point of view, look at what it is this friend wants me to see. I will listen.

Another friend has a completely different sort of approach. This friend is soft and careful with me. Approaches me slowly and with great care. This friend can get me to do things I would never before consider because they have the patience to wait and let me stand very still while I work it through in my mind. There is no pressure, no pushing, no pulling. They simply offer the suggestion, and offer it again, and again and wait for me to get there. I get there eventually. They know how to handle me, they know that I need to get my mind around something before I will give over to it. I will give over to it.

Two completely different approaches yet both yielding a similar result.

I ask myself why these individuals have that influence with me while others do not. That's an easy question to answer. They have earned my trust. I have put my faith in them. I have a great deal of respect for them. I know they have my best interests at heart, they are not going to hurt me, of this I am sure. I care for them deeply, I care for them dearly. I care for them.

Indeed.

Can you be influenced?