During last week's episode of Big Love, the hit HBO original series, a main character blurted those words during a rather contentious family discussion. Apparently she became so exasperated with the way the conversation was going that she essentially threw up her hands in frustration and said, "I'm detaching!" and she got up and left. All during the remainder of the show my mind kept going back to that one exclamation. I'm detaching.
The word detach, as a verb, means to unfasten and separate; disengage; disunite. The definition doesn't sound very promising. A detached retina is bad news. To become detached from society a problem, a tragedy to be perfectly honest. Yet as I watched that scene and let those two words sink in...I saw nothing negative about them. In fact I liked how the character said them, I liked her tone and I liked the fact that she said them and got up and left.
I saw her detaching as a sort of triumph over drama. She had enough and was not going to let the drama control her. She refused to give in and become part of it. I think I liked that more than anything else. I see myself detach that way...I just never put those words to my actions.
I find myself, often, not wanting to get caught and dragged down by negativity. I will walk away from a group at work who are in a full blown gossip fest. I detach. I will ignore a less than kind comment my husband might make in favor of a peaceful dinnertime. I detach. I bite my lip, my tongue and the inside of my check and stay perfectly quiet when my mother is mid-rant about something she read in the newspaper. I detach.
I detach, it seems, in order to preserve my mood, keep my composure, maintain and even strain. It is a skill I think, one I wish some others around me would adopt.
Unfasten, disconnect, disengage? Not in my mind. I'd like to add diffuse, disarm and dismiss to my personal definition of detach.
Dismiss!
Indeed.
The word detach, as a verb, means to unfasten and separate; disengage; disunite. The definition doesn't sound very promising. A detached retina is bad news. To become detached from society a problem, a tragedy to be perfectly honest. Yet as I watched that scene and let those two words sink in...I saw nothing negative about them. In fact I liked how the character said them, I liked her tone and I liked the fact that she said them and got up and left.
I saw her detaching as a sort of triumph over drama. She had enough and was not going to let the drama control her. She refused to give in and become part of it. I think I liked that more than anything else. I see myself detach that way...I just never put those words to my actions.
I find myself, often, not wanting to get caught and dragged down by negativity. I will walk away from a group at work who are in a full blown gossip fest. I detach. I will ignore a less than kind comment my husband might make in favor of a peaceful dinnertime. I detach. I bite my lip, my tongue and the inside of my check and stay perfectly quiet when my mother is mid-rant about something she read in the newspaper. I detach.
I detach, it seems, in order to preserve my mood, keep my composure, maintain and even strain. It is a skill I think, one I wish some others around me would adopt.
Unfasten, disconnect, disengage? Not in my mind. I'd like to add diffuse, disarm and dismiss to my personal definition of detach.
Dismiss!
Indeed.
2 comments:
Detaching...that does say much in a single word. With age has come the determination to not allow my life to be controlled by others and their drama. I can't stop the drama, but I don't have to participate or even be a witness. So 'detaching' is the answer. It does preserve the things I wish to have (peace, calm, positivity) without a high degree of personal sacrifice. It's like withdrawing the match before the paper is lit.
I think that is what I have been doing for the last year...quietly detaching myself from the situation. I think it has helped in many instantances when someone gets so precious...lol
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