Be Careful What You Wish For....

When I was a little girl, and being particularly pouty or sour, my mother would take issue with some of the facial expressions I would adopt. As a way to break this habit she would say, "if you make that face for too long...it will freeze that way." Certainly not a page taken from Dr Spock, it worked just the same. Once I imagined myself sitting at my desk in class, walking down the block, going to Mass looking as if I'd sucked a lemon for an hour, I lightened up on the scowling.

My mother's methods, while unorthodox, got the job done. She had all sorts of expressions, half-proverb, half-threat, to keep me in line. Pride goeth before a fall was regularly recited. Do unto others....Take the high road....Look before you leap were some others. I heard them every day. I can still hear them now...in my head.

The one that stayed with me the most was ...Be careful what you wish for. It's negativity is what strikes me. As if the things I might wish for would be a disappointment. As if I didn't understand what things I wished for. As if having what I wished for would not be in my best interests. My mother did not mean for the message to limit me, lower my expectations. What she meant was for me to think through the things I wanted out of life. To make sure that I understood what getting some wishes would mean for me.

Still, over the years, I have found that notion to creep into my mind, usually after something went awry. After something I wanted was realized. A promotion that cost more in family time than I had imagined. A friend I needed distance from who left me completely. Wishing to be closer to another friend only to discover that the closeness choked me. Wishing to be left alone only to find what loneliness really is. Sometimes I wondered if the Cosmos were trying to tell me something. The same thing my mother tried to tell me in her own way.

The thing is....life is full of serendipity. Unexpected and accidental delights that balance what goes awry. Things that I never imagined would come to me have done so and in the most unexpected ways. Good things, things I want, things I need. Things that far exceeded anything I could have wished for.

So I keep on wishing, keep on reaching for stars. Mortal soul that I am, I keep my wishes rooted in simplicity. I know exactly what it is that I want. I am fully aware of what I might get as well. For it is in my wishing that I put a voice to my heart's desires. A voice that is deliberate, clear and full of well deserved expectation.

I am careful what I wish for.
Because I know exactly what I might get.
Thank Heaven for that.
Indeed.