I'll admit that on the surface it was fluff and I have always felt a slight irritation over women overly concerned with their appearance and attire. My thinking being that efforts toward more substantial concerns got a person further in life. My daughter has adopted this logic as well. She said, "Mom ... who writes a blog about themselves that way!".
I thought to myself, I do.
My own blog has served as a place for me to examine myself and what is happening in my life. Like this girl, I prattle on and on endlessly mostly about myself and the things about myself of which I am most proud. I write about my children and other good things in my life that I think are pretty special. I suppose a person may get the impression that I'm self possessed and self centered reading such things. I suppose that I am.
There is a method to the madness. We all need positive reinforcement. We all need affirmations and validations. I choose to use my blog as a place to keep a record of the wonderful things in my life, to write about things that I have that make me feel equally wonderful. Perhaps that's the purpose of my daughter's classmates blog. Maybe it's her place to express her pride in herself. Maybe it's the only place where she can see and feel that pride.
It's easy to forget the good things about ourselves and our lives when life is not particularly kind. We get mired down in self doubt and loss and often struggle to see anything good about current situations. We get wrapped up in negativity and those things we wish we didn't have to face. Some days, no matter which direction we look, something has collapsed on us.
We have to have a way to battle back the darkness we have fallen into...at least that's how I feel. When I look at my past blog posts I come face to face with the incredible joys in my life. I'm able to count my blessings because I can see them in my words. I have a record of my successes that isn't overshadowed by perceptions of failure. For every loss I feel I can still see the evidence of incredible abundance that I've been blessed with simply by reading my own words. It's proof, living proof, of what should be my reasons to feel a sense of accomplishment every single day.
My life is filled with things I wish I didn't have to deal with. I'm surrounded by countless reminders of things I wish never were. I have pain in my life ... and loss. I ache for things I'll never have. I hurt just like anybody else. Maybe more. So for having acknowledged these truths, having accepted that none of it, not one single part of it will keep me from also acknowledging that I am indeed living a life worth living. This acknowledgement keeps me reaching toward what I want and what I need for myself. It keeps me moving forward and doesn't stop me from traveling life's path even when riddled with bumps and falls. I have too much, I have far too much to ever let a little pain and heartache get in the way of living what is, by my account, a pretty good life.
For some people it's looking at how they present themselves to the world that makes them feel accomplished, for some it's sharing how a person triumphs over life's challenges and for others it's looking back at day to day life and the ways their children have grown into their own that does it for them. Whatever it is they can look to on a tough day for comfort doesn't matter. All that matters is that they are wise enough and committed enough to create something for themselves that serves as a comfort as well as an everlasting inventory of what they have.
If I ever need a reminder of how much I have...I know just where to look.
Indeed.
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