One Hundred Ways

One Hundred Ways is a song written by Benjamin Wright, Anthony Tryrone Coleman and Kathleen Wakefield and recorded by Quincy Jones. Most people are familiar with the recording by James Ingram but I prefer the arrangement by Mr Jones. It's a song about the lengths a man should go to show the woman he loves what she means to him.



One hundred ways is also the subject of a thread I came across in an online group this week. The thread was a repost of a list of One Hundred Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock that can be found on the website, We Are THAT Family.


http://wearethatfamily.com/2012/02/100-ways-to-make-your-marriage-rock


The thread got me thinking. It got me thinking about marriage and about how to sustain one over the long haul. It got me thinking about the many ways I have tried to sustain mine. Many, many ways. More than one hundred, certainly.


Because I am a self admitted, wise ass know-it-all, I set out to poke holes in the logic supporting the list. I meant no disrespect to the person who posted the thread. I thought many of the suggestions were worthy of a try. Some were downright lovely ( # 24 Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories). That's not to say I wasn't doubtful of the validity of such a list. So many of the items on it made me shake my head. It's not so much that I am a pessimist, I'm far from it, but rather I am a realist and I saw lots of room to debunk what I thought wasn't exactly solid advice. My reason boils down to one simple fact. It takes two.


It takes two to tango, it takes two to strike a bargain, it takes two to play catch, it takes two to make a quarrel. It takes two to make a marriage work.


It takes two to make a marriage work ... but just one to make it fail. It doesn't matter how many date nights you plan, how many love notes you hide in his pocket and how many little tricks you pull out of your sleeve to try and infuse love and romance back into a relationship. There is just one trick really. One simple trick that works. One that is tried and true and stands the test of time. The trick is finding that person who is just as willing, just as committed and just as emotionally invested in keeping the marriage strong and alive and fulfilling as the other is in order to make it work. It takes two.


While no marriage is fool-proof, while human nature is what it is, there are likely to be lean patches and troubled waters in most marriages. Life is hard, raising a family is challenging, and sometimes things are just plain overwhelming. Mistakes are made, lines are blurred and strain rules. Couples check out and close off as they try and cope. Often it is the more committed of the two, the stronger of the two who keeps the marriage alive and intact and holds it all together. It is also the more loving of the two who can set aside personal wants and needs in order to try and redirect the relationship. That person can read all of the lists in the world, they can do one hundred things, try one hundred ways .... they can try one thousand ways ... to make things better... but in the end it will always take two to make it work.


It takes two.
Indeed