Without Asking

One of the best things in life, for me, is to receive something without asking for it. I am talking about things I wish for, things I long for, things I only dream about in quiet corners of my heart. Things that suddenly and mystifyingly are placed in my hands without my ever having to have whispered my desire for them.

A good part of our lives is spent thinking about the things we want. Tangible evidence of success, symbols of having finally arrived, materialistic validations. I am not talking about these things, these things many of us want. I am talking about those things that cannot be purchased, cannot be captured. I am talking about things truly given, given freely. Given without reservation and without a request for a return. Given with an open hand and and open heart. Given without our ever having to ask.

For the giver of such things, the inherent satisfaction of this gifting is immeasurable. The giving is the key, the giving over to another person without their asking is an exercise many do not endeavor. So much is at stake as these gifts come from within, these gifts are part of ones own self. There is risk involved. No one wants to discover their gift unwanted, unneeded. No one wants to realize they've misread, misunderstood, misstepped. Certainly.

For the recipient of such a wondrous gift, a gift that comes without the asking, the experience is sublime. It is no small gesture. It's magnitude can be astounding especially when the likelihood of such a gift is far removed from ones existence. The realization that one has received such a gift can call ones worthiness into question. Do we deserve such bountiful joy? Are we worthy, truly worthy of such simple and heartfelt generosity, worthy of what's been given?

Of course there are times that in our own preoccupation we might not realize that something so precious has been left for us. We miss the sweet gesture, it arrives almost unnoticed for a time. Then suddenly we see it, we realize that it's there. Without having to ask...it's there. Placed in our hands with tender care.

How does one say thank you for such gifts given ?

We say it with affection, with humility and with the full measure of it's intentions returned. We say it often, we say it out loud, we say it until we are told to stop.

Then we say it some more.

Indeed.

Take Time

A lovely friend of mine stitched a beautiful cross stitch hoop for me and sent it to me. She told me that when she saw it she thought of me. It had a beach theme, a starfish, shells and some ocean water. What caught my eye were the two words it contained...Take Time. I understand completely why she thought of me.

I love things that remind me of the beach. All of my friends know that the beach is a most favorite place for me. That's not why she thought of me....she thought of me because of those two simple words......Take Time.

We all get so wrapped up in life that I think we forget how valuable time really is. Some of us have a different perspective because we know how precious time is. When you have to think about not having any time left...it makes you wake up. It makes you look at time in a different way.

I know I appreciate the time I have ahead...no matter how much there may be. I learned to value each and every minute, savor it and milk it for all it's worth. I learned to use my time to be good to myself, kind to myself, love myself. It's my time...I own it and I will use every last second of it in exactly the way I chose.

It took a lot to get me to this place....this place where I take time for me, take time for myself. I spent a lot of time in giving, in making sure others had their time...often at my own expense. I realize now that it's me that has to take the time to be myself, revel in myself before I truly can give to another. I have to take time for me before I can give my fullest, my best.

My sweet friend reminded me of this with her cross stitch. I have it on my desk at work with some shells, blown glass fish and rocks arranged around it. It will serve as a sweet and gentle reminder to me to never stop taking time for myself. To never let my time be wasted. To love myself first so that I can love someone else with my whole heart.

Indeed.

For Mothers.....

Who isn't thinking of mothers this weekend? I have been. I have been thinking of mothers all week. Many mothers, mothers we all know.

I have been thinking of mothers who have a grown child serving in our Military. Mothers brimming with pride but who ache inside until that time they know their child is safely home.

I have been thinking of mothers who have a child who is missing, who has disappeared. Their agony never leaves them, their dread hidden beneath a patina of hope they have no choice but to cling to.

I have been thinking of mothers who have to bear the criticism of their children's public mistakes. That's a heavy cross to bear and few will help shoulder the burden.

I have been thinking of mothers with children who are troubled and in trouble. They often blame themselves unfairly for their child's poor decisions and actions.

I have been thinking of mothers who have children suffering from serious and chronic illness. Mothers who would trade places with that child in a blink of an eye but who must put on a brave face and comfort when they need the comfort themselves.

I have been thinking of mothers who have a child who is estranged from them. A space left unfilled no matter what other children they have to honor them. Until the last is where they belong there is no peace for them.

I have been thinking of mothers who have children who have passed on into the next life. What an empty day they must have amid all of the cards and bouquets they might receive. Bittersweet memories of the past must soothe and still a heart that will always long for them.

I have been thinking of my own mother and every wrong I have done her. For every time I made her worry. Every time I defied her. For every tear I never saw her cry and for every harsh and biting word I am sure she can still hear in her mind....I am sorry. I hope that not only on Mother's Day, but on every day, will she feel the full measure of my love and respect for her. She is my guide, my compass and my past. I love her so.

Happy Mother's Day ...

What Is Life (Without Your Love)

There is a song by George Harrison that I have always liked....it's called What Is Life. Whenever I hear it there is a line that jumps out at me...

What I feel, I cant say ....
But my love is there for you anytime of day.

I have had this song featured on my Imeem page for a few weeks now. I listen to it just about every day. It makes me think of love and the wondrous ability we have within us to love without rationale, love without rhyme or reason, love without restraint. We simply discover that we just love someone and what we feel, we cannot say.

I have found it often futile in trying to understand why it is we love the people we do. There are intangibles at work, subtleties that we may not even realize have steered us in the direction we find love in. Still, once examined and dissected, I find another couplet from the song relevant...

Tell me, what is my life without your love

Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What is life without love? Without your own love by your side? I am blessed with love in abundance. One look at the people in my life and it's evident, apparent indeed. What is more evident is my own capacity, my own boundless wish to give it, offer it, share it, show it. Who am I without love, who could I ever be?

A very dear friend once old me that they were the sort of person that if they loved you....you would know it, feel it. I couldn't agree more....how could I not show it? Can you say the same, can you say that those you love know it, do you make sure they feel it?

But my love is there for you anytime of day.

Your love might be there anytime of day but it doesn't do any good if they do not know it....if they do not feel it.

Make sure that they know it, feel it....

Indeed.