Just Like Peas and Carrots

There is a great line from the film, Forrest Gump. Hearing it always makes me smile deep down inside. Forrest is talking about his very best friend, Jenny, and he says...Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots.

Peas and carrots.

The reason I always smile when I hear that line is because I love thinking about having just such a friend. A friend to have wonderful, delicious closeness with. A friend to share secrets, hopes and dreams. A friend to share joy, good fortune and personal accomplishment. A friend to share heartaches, disappointment and hurt. A friend to admit fear, admit failure and admit defeat. A friend to experience the deepest level of conversation, the deepest level of connection.

A friend to show the part of you no one else has ever seen. A friend who doesn't turn away when they see it. A friend who will not run from a tough time. A friend who will be there, day after day, without fail. A friend who does not fail you.

A friend to trust with everything....a friend to trust with yourself.

Some of us are lucky enough to have such a friend. Some of us are smart enough to treat them with the care they deserve. Some of us are blessed with the knowledge they feel the exact same way about us.

Peas and carrots.

Indeed.

Unrung Bells

When I was a child, my mother would tell me to think before I spoke. She stressed that a person could hurt with words just as much as they could with fists, maybe even more. Bumps and bruises heal, words resonate in our minds for as long as we allow them.

We all have one, one resounding word or phrase someone has spoken to us in anger. Something someone has said that knocked us off our feet, took the wind from our sails, struck a direct hit at our core. I know I do. There are few things that can break my spirit, few things that can shake me, shake me hard. Few things that will make me walk away and close the door behind me, for good. Words spoken in anger, aimed at my heart, will do it every time.

They say you can't unring a bell. What a perfect way to put that particular thought. You can't. Once the words leave your mouth, the bell is struck, the sound travels to its intended target. The words have a potential to pinch, to hurt and to maim, over and over, as they echo on and on.

This week I was sent an interesting quote buy Chris White,

Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth.

Immediately I whispered the words to myself, like a prayer, and added them to the signature portion of my personal email. I want to keep these words at the forefront of my thoughts. Oh that I could have had that hand over my mouth at times.

I never again want to wish an unrung bell to silence. Nor do I ever want to watch someone recoil after I have spoken. I want to always pause before I speak lest I hurt someone with my own words. I don't ever want to do that as I know exactly how it feels, how it hurts, how it keeps on hurting. I hear them now, those words spoken in anger, that bell still ringing and feeling the sting from each slow peal.

I wish I never had to hear it again.

Indeed

That's The Way Of The World

This week marks a momentous occasion in our country, the United States of America. The first African American in history will be sworn in as the 44th President of this great nation.

Whether you voted for Barak Obama or not...matters little now. He is our leader, our Commander in Chief, and our nation will come together to celebrate this mark of time in our lives. We always do.

That's the way of the world. We march on, move forward, keep going. Despite all that is amiss, all that worries us, we keep moving, one foot in front of another. We keep moving.

That's The Way of the World is a beautiful song written by Maurice White, Verdeen White and Charles Stempney and recorded in 1975 by the group Earth Wind and Fire. It's a beautifully soothing and uplifting song with a lyric that has stayed with me all these 34 years. It is a perennial favorite, one that touches my soul.

We've come together on this special day

To sing our message loud and clear

Looking back we've touched on sorrowful days

Future pass, they disappear

You will find peace of mind

If you look way down in your heart and soul

Don't hesitate cause the world seems cold

Stay young at heart cause you're never (never, never, ..) old at heart

The lyric always made me think about change, handling change. Transitions. Things we might look back upon, things in our past. Things that might have sorrow attached vanish in the morrow. In future days they do indeed disappear. We forget, move on, move ahead, move forward. That's the way of the world.

All of our life is a series of changes, one after another. The change might be good, or it might not be. It's beyond our control entirely. So we get up, face a new day. We let the future arrive and the past disappear. We let dawn a beginning and say goodbye to what was. We keep continuing on in life, getting up each new day, one after another, no matter what life has handed us. That's the way of the world.

Find your peace of mind and let it happen.

Just let it happen.

Indeed.

Bookshelves.....

I was in a Barnes and Noble store when I was on vacation in Florida over Christmas. I took my son so he could sit in the cafe and email a few friends at home he was missing.

While I was waiting for him I thought I might peruse the shelves and see what I might have been missing since my last visit. I wandered to the Relationships section and found some very interesting titles stacked like soldiers in neat rows. Soldiers in the fight to save our relationships from peril.

Here is my own compilation of veritable must reads for those serious about getting their relationship back on track:

1. Eat Chocolate Naked, and 123 Other Ways to Attract Attention and Spark Romance by Cam Johnson.

Interesting. A man is always interested in sparking romance with a partner gorging on chocolate, giving her attention as she packs on the pounds rendering her unpalatable to him in the end.

2. Love Is Letting Go of Fear, Gerald G Jamposky

Hmmm...if you are afraid of him....you shouldn't be loving him now should you? Oh....it's not him you are afraid of....you have a fear of Love? Well...why are you afraid of love? I think those issues should be addressed before you go and love somebody. All your issues may make HIM afraid of YOU.

3.Love In 90 Days... *or Less, Diana Kirschner PhD

An expiration date for Love, how precious.

4 & 5. How Can I Forgive you? Janis Abrams Spring PhD and Self Hypnosis, Chereth Powell & Grey Forde.

Now you know these two simply must be read as a pair. I'm just saying....

6. Men Who Can't Love, Steven Carter & Julia Sabol.

Tell me again why we want these men?

7. It's So Hard To Love You, Bill Klotte MSW., Kate Thompson.

Then why are you even bothering?

8. Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay, Mira Kirshenbaum

A conundrum if there ever was!

9. The collective "Dr" Laura Schlessengers faux works on brainwashing...I mean suggestions (to send a woman back into the time before indoor plumbing) to have a successful union.

I'd ask for a refund. She's qualified to expound about her doctoral dissertation, Effects of Insulin on 3-0-Methyglucose Transport in Isolated Rat Adipocytes, not the marriages of thinking women.

and finally....

10. If Buddha Dated, Charlotte Kose PhD.

What does one say about Buddha dating? I would, however, like to see his profile on Match.com.

I did not chose anything from this stellar array for myself. Instead I wandered to the sale bin and made my choice, Meditations From a Course In Miracles, Inspirational quotes of universal wisdom, from materials by Dr Helen Schucman
If I may.....

I found this pearl in the chapter labeled Meditations on Love and Relationships:

On Love

Love is not learned.
It's meaning lies within itself,
And learning ends when you
have recognized all is not.

Love is not learned,
because there never was a
time when you knew it not.

Indeed!