Sunday, July 5, 2009

An Independent Woman


Years and years ago, when I was reading paperback romance novels with voracious abandon, I read An Independent Woman by Candace Camp. It was your average story, penniless girl, well born aristocrat, they cannot marry, but after the requisite twists and turns do marry and everyone wants to ruin it for them. They prevail of course in the end. Julianna, the lead character, was an Independent Woman by virtue of bucking the system and not letting anyone tell her what to do.

Often when we think of an independent woman we think of that woman who bucks the system. We think of a woman who lives alone, a woman who doesn't need anyone, a woman who would rather be alone than compromise. We think of a tough cookie, one who has the last word, one who will not be told what to do under any circumstance. Of course if you asked me I'd say that was a foolish woman. That's just me.

Some of the most quiet and docile women I know are fiercely independent. They have gaggles of children, even grandchildren, who take up the time they so lovingly give leaving little for themselves. There are women who spend their time in the service or care of another, their needs put aside for someone with a greater one...also independent. There are women who pass on careers and stay at home tending to families who are independent. There are woman who pass on family life and surrender their needs to a climb up a corporate ladder, independent. These woman are independent not because of their chosen path but because they have, in fact, chosen it. Chosen it for themselves.

I have always thought of a woman's independence in terms of thought and attitude and not necessarily action. One need not slam a door to make a point, get up and exit a room with a flourish to be noticed. Independent in thought, mind and soul are what makes a woman independent. Her choice, her conscious decision to live the life she chooses marks her independence. Sometimes that means having to wait for what she's always wanted, sometimes that means taking what she wants right then and there. Sometimes that means forging a new path in life dramatically different than the one she set out on. Sometimes it means staying the course, no matter how difficult, because that is what she wants. That is her choice. Her independent choice.

Independence in any form is cause for celebration, it's worth noting, worth honoring. A woman who chooses her course, not because it's what someone else wants of her, not because it's what someone else wants for her, not because it's what is expected of her but because it is exactly what she wants is worth celebrating as well.

Happy Independence!
Indeed.

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