Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul will take.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Bless this bed I lay upon.
Mother Mary, full of grace, watch me as I sleep.
Amen
This was the prayer I recited each and every night from the time I was about four years old until I was a grown woman. My three children recited the same prayer as I had taught them.
I can recall lying in bed, tucked into the soft cocoon of blankets, with only a strip of light visible from the tiny crack my mother would leave my door ajar. She kept a night light on in the upstairs hall and it projected a soft and low glow in the room. I liked being able to see the statue of the Blessed Mother I kept on my nightstand. It made me feel safe knowing she was right there. Especially since I asked her each night to watch over me.
As I grew older my prayers evolved. I never wasted a good prayer on frivolity. We're Irish and if nothing else we're practical about such things. One can dream about a great many things but I never could bring myself to ask God for something so frivolous as the red crushed velvet coat in the window at the Boston Store. Nor did I ask to pass tests, get picked for cheerleaders, or other good fortunes. I figured God would not award selfishness so I kept it simple. My prayers, practical as they were, revolved around my family life. I was manic that we would all be safe and sound and far from harm.
Growing up in the sixties even the most vigilant parents could not keep dreadful news from tender ears. Our country's leaders were assassinated, three Mercury astronauts perished in a fire on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, a war in Vietnam was raging and young men from my town were killed. I had a lot of worry swirling around me so I prayed that no one in my family would be shot, die in a fire or be sent to war. I thought that covered it.
Then in the fifth grade my grandfather passed away and I prayed that my family would all live a long long time....longer than me because I didn't want to lose anyone else. In the sixth grade a girl in another Catholic school was followed by a man and killed on her way home from school. I started to ask God to keep me safe. My prayers were getting even longer.
In the 9th grade a boy in my high school was killed in an auto accident so I prayed no one I cared about would be in a car crash. In 10th a boy I had a crush on died from Hodgkin's Disease and I prayed no one in my life would get cancer. That same year my best friend's mother went to sleep one night, shortly after Christmas, and never woke up again. She had an aneurysm. Around this time I was praying for my friends now along with everyone else. That prayer grew and grew and grew. So many things worried me and I prayed about them all.
Much later, when I married, I prayed for my husband. I prayed that he would be safe, prayed that he would always love me and I prayed that I would pass away before he did because it was unimaginable that I would be without him. I prayed incessantly when my children arrived, sometimes to the exclusion of all else. I prayed, and I prayed..."Don't let anything bad happen to us".....
In that bed, in the dark, I said my prayers each night, faithfully. "Don't let anything bad happen to us". I never missed.
I still don't miss but my prayers have changed. I have learned to stop praying for things not to happen. They happen anyway. They happen no matter how much we pray. God doesn't give you a pass because you call dibs on safety. No one, no matter how hard they pray, is exempt from the reality and heartache of life. What I have learned to do, what I have learned to pray for... is help. I lay in the dark and pray for help. Help me get through this.
Help me get through this covers just about anything that can be thrown at me. Help me get through this allows me to accept what happens and not be frightened. Help me get through this doesn't make me feel overwhelmed at what I need to get through. Help me get through this makes me believe that I can...get through it. Help me get through this leaves me with a feeling that, when it is all said and done, I will still be standing.
Help me get through this.
Indeed
Amen.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul will take.
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Bless this bed I lay upon.
Mother Mary, full of grace, watch me as I sleep.
Amen
This was the prayer I recited each and every night from the time I was about four years old until I was a grown woman. My three children recited the same prayer as I had taught them.
I can recall lying in bed, tucked into the soft cocoon of blankets, with only a strip of light visible from the tiny crack my mother would leave my door ajar. She kept a night light on in the upstairs hall and it projected a soft and low glow in the room. I liked being able to see the statue of the Blessed Mother I kept on my nightstand. It made me feel safe knowing she was right there. Especially since I asked her each night to watch over me.
As I grew older my prayers evolved. I never wasted a good prayer on frivolity. We're Irish and if nothing else we're practical about such things. One can dream about a great many things but I never could bring myself to ask God for something so frivolous as the red crushed velvet coat in the window at the Boston Store. Nor did I ask to pass tests, get picked for cheerleaders, or other good fortunes. I figured God would not award selfishness so I kept it simple. My prayers, practical as they were, revolved around my family life. I was manic that we would all be safe and sound and far from harm.
Growing up in the sixties even the most vigilant parents could not keep dreadful news from tender ears. Our country's leaders were assassinated, three Mercury astronauts perished in a fire on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, a war in Vietnam was raging and young men from my town were killed. I had a lot of worry swirling around me so I prayed that no one in my family would be shot, die in a fire or be sent to war. I thought that covered it.
Then in the fifth grade my grandfather passed away and I prayed that my family would all live a long long time....longer than me because I didn't want to lose anyone else. In the sixth grade a girl in another Catholic school was followed by a man and killed on her way home from school. I started to ask God to keep me safe. My prayers were getting even longer.
In the 9th grade a boy in my high school was killed in an auto accident so I prayed no one I cared about would be in a car crash. In 10th a boy I had a crush on died from Hodgkin's Disease and I prayed no one in my life would get cancer. That same year my best friend's mother went to sleep one night, shortly after Christmas, and never woke up again. She had an aneurysm. Around this time I was praying for my friends now along with everyone else. That prayer grew and grew and grew. So many things worried me and I prayed about them all.
Much later, when I married, I prayed for my husband. I prayed that he would be safe, prayed that he would always love me and I prayed that I would pass away before he did because it was unimaginable that I would be without him. I prayed incessantly when my children arrived, sometimes to the exclusion of all else. I prayed, and I prayed..."Don't let anything bad happen to us".....
In that bed, in the dark, I said my prayers each night, faithfully. "Don't let anything bad happen to us". I never missed.
I still don't miss but my prayers have changed. I have learned to stop praying for things not to happen. They happen anyway. They happen no matter how much we pray. God doesn't give you a pass because you call dibs on safety. No one, no matter how hard they pray, is exempt from the reality and heartache of life. What I have learned to do, what I have learned to pray for... is help. I lay in the dark and pray for help. Help me get through this.
Help me get through this covers just about anything that can be thrown at me. Help me get through this allows me to accept what happens and not be frightened. Help me get through this doesn't make me feel overwhelmed at what I need to get through. Help me get through this makes me believe that I can...get through it. Help me get through this leaves me with a feeling that, when it is all said and done, I will still be standing.
Help me get through this.
Indeed
Amen.
1 comment:
I left a church because the pastor was leading the congregation to pray that a hurricane would not come to our area. Um.. we live in Florida. It is part of living here. I confronted him with it and told him that we should pray that we will know what to do when it strikes instead. I often pray that I will know what to do. It helps comfort me.
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