Saturday, February 7, 2009

Shades of Gray.....




I am not a big fan of Country Music, but I am a fan of a good songwriter no matter what their chosen genre. The words to a song, a good song, rise up and away from the melody and embed themselves inside me. They stay with me only to be pulled out, and examined over and over, until I settle on what the writer said and how it spoke to me.

It seems every time I tune to a radio station lately I hear a song called, "In Color" by Jamey Johnson. The song was co written by Johnson, along with James Otto and Lee Thomas Miller.

The song carries a simple message that becomes apparent quickly. It's not the message that gets me, but the power behind it. The song has a grandfather showing some photographs of key moments in his life. In order to explain the significance, weight and importance of the moment captured in the photo he says, "you should have seen it in color".

Isn't that exactly how life's moments are? We try to capture life's moments on film for posterity...but what we really have is a piece if paper with an image on it. An image in shades of gray. An image that doesn't come near to defining that moment. That doesn't come near to expressing the myriad of emotion present within. The real importance, the life, in a photograph is the memory attached to it. Only the individuals who lived that moment truly understand what took place. The photo captured the image but the individual captured the memory. They look at the photo later...and they see it in color. The color that lives in the memory.

I looked at some old photos not long ago, wanting to scan them and share with a friend who didn't know me when I was young. I had photos of my childhood, me in the dorm at college, my wedding. Photos of me with my children, with my parents, with my husband. Photos, now that I think about them, really don't tell my story at all. The photos show images, happy faces, pleasant poses, fun times. What they do not show is what was going on inside me at the time, They do not show what I was feeling, what was behind the smile. They don't show that I cut my knee and tried to look happy on my grandmother's porch. They don't show the sadness I swallowed, and capped by a smile, the day I left college and came home. They don't show the struggle, from the day before, surging between my husband and me. They don't show the worry I had inside for the child standing next to me. They don't show the near tragedy brewing inside me just four days before becoming critically ill. They show happy, smiling faces, but you should have seen them in color.

The song's refrain, so beautifully crafted goes....

A picture's worth a thousand words
but you cant see what those shades of gray keep covered.
You should have seen it in color.

I'm leaving the photos unscanned. I'd rather tell the story than show the picture. A story told in my words. A story told in color.

Indeed.

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