Telly Savalas coined the phrase "Who Loves Ya Baby" on the 1973 hit TV series Kojak. The phrase was rhetorical in nature as it was used by the character. I like to think of that phrase in a literal sense. Who loves you?
We give a lot of thought to the object of our own affections, the ones we love. We think in terms of how we feel about the person, how much they mean to us and sometimes we wonder what we would ever do without them. We love them and our time is spent lost in wonderful sweet memories encapsulated in these moments. We simply think about how much it is we love them.
But what of those who love us? How often do we give a passing thought to what it's like for that person who loves us? What is it really like for them to love us?
We don't often realize our impact on another. We don't realize what our words mean, what our touch can evoke. We don't always recognize our importance to someone in a visceral sense, we can't feel it, can't feel the depth of emotion they have inside borne of love for us. We don't see them pause and break into a smile because they've thought about us, recalled something we said, remembered the last shared embrace, last shared kiss. We don't hear them sigh when they miss us. We don't hear that sharp intake of breath when they find us. We don't know when they whisper I love you's before they fall asleep. We don't feel how their heart pounds with delight or aches with worry for us.
Perhaps we should. Perhaps to truly appreciate the weight and measure of another's love for us we should think about their expressions and offerings as the remarkable gestures they are. Perhaps we should think about all of those things that occur out of our line of sight. Perhaps the next time we hear them say "I love You" we should pause and imagine all that lies behind those three words. Imagine the scope of their emotional investment, imagine the enormity of their risk taken. Image the breadth of feeling that follows those three little words from their lips to our hearts.
Imagine what it took for them to offer all of that to us. Offer all of that.
Indeed.
We give a lot of thought to the object of our own affections, the ones we love. We think in terms of how we feel about the person, how much they mean to us and sometimes we wonder what we would ever do without them. We love them and our time is spent lost in wonderful sweet memories encapsulated in these moments. We simply think about how much it is we love them.
But what of those who love us? How often do we give a passing thought to what it's like for that person who loves us? What is it really like for them to love us?
We don't often realize our impact on another. We don't realize what our words mean, what our touch can evoke. We don't always recognize our importance to someone in a visceral sense, we can't feel it, can't feel the depth of emotion they have inside borne of love for us. We don't see them pause and break into a smile because they've thought about us, recalled something we said, remembered the last shared embrace, last shared kiss. We don't hear them sigh when they miss us. We don't hear that sharp intake of breath when they find us. We don't know when they whisper I love you's before they fall asleep. We don't feel how their heart pounds with delight or aches with worry for us.
Perhaps we should. Perhaps to truly appreciate the weight and measure of another's love for us we should think about their expressions and offerings as the remarkable gestures they are. Perhaps we should think about all of those things that occur out of our line of sight. Perhaps the next time we hear them say "I love You" we should pause and imagine all that lies behind those three words. Imagine the scope of their emotional investment, imagine the enormity of their risk taken. Image the breadth of feeling that follows those three little words from their lips to our hearts.
Imagine what it took for them to offer all of that to us. Offer all of that.
Indeed.
2 comments:
All Of That! Maybe that is why we don't feel their love is because we are so into feeling our love for them and caught up in all that means to us. I have only felt the love of one man in my life and will never know the touch of his hand but I knew at one moment in time I had the greatest love ever.
And how do we know who loves us?
I am sure I missed that occasional girl who was on the edge of our social circle who felt a great love for me, and just never voiced it.
There's love and there's love. Love takes knowing someone. Anything before that knowledge is love of an ideal that we attach to someone.
So how do we know people love us? I guess we should just assume that people do, and respect the fact that life's hard, and treat everyone with respect since they may feel love towards us.
As for those I know love me, some I just can't understand what it is they see or need from me. I'm not just talking romantic love, but also love of friends for each other, and deep admiration for colleagues.
Waffling, I may be, but I know more has/had to be said.
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