I have been very quiet these last few weeks. My thoughts turned inward, reflecting on what might have been. Reflecting more on what turned out to be, on what is yet to come. For as much as I resisted and tried to push these thoughts from my head they have prevailed, they have made their presence known in precise terms. I was not to escape them. And rightly so.
I had to commemorate a certain sort of anniversary this past week. It was not the sort of anniversary warranting a card or gift certainly. I received no flowers, no special dinner. It was the anniversary of the day I was to face my own mortality. A day, for my life to come, that will never go unacknowledged. Ever.
It's funny how you imagine you will handle some of life's challenges. We all imagine the scenario of the physician telling us that we have six months to live and we let our minds wander to what we would do with those last six months. I know I have thought about this. But what of being told you have a few hours to live? What then?
Having come out the other side of a devastating situation, having beaten odds and earning a spot on the one in a million team, I can tell you what you do during those hours...indeed I can. What is far more interesting, far more important to discover, however, is what is to be done with all of the hours that are yet to come. The hours, but for miracles and fate, are in front of me now.
Not a single one of those hours will be wasted on petty nonsense, gossip and destructive thoughts. Those hours will be filled with joy and pleasure. With love both given and received. With a firm resolve to live those hours and not simply pass them.
This year has been one of discovery, one of recovery and one of limitless possibilities. I will never again take for granted the notion of Someday. Someday is now. Someday is in my hands and Someday is mine to have and to hold.
I am holding on to Someday and I am not about to let go.
Indeed...
I had to commemorate a certain sort of anniversary this past week. It was not the sort of anniversary warranting a card or gift certainly. I received no flowers, no special dinner. It was the anniversary of the day I was to face my own mortality. A day, for my life to come, that will never go unacknowledged. Ever.
It's funny how you imagine you will handle some of life's challenges. We all imagine the scenario of the physician telling us that we have six months to live and we let our minds wander to what we would do with those last six months. I know I have thought about this. But what of being told you have a few hours to live? What then?
Having come out the other side of a devastating situation, having beaten odds and earning a spot on the one in a million team, I can tell you what you do during those hours...indeed I can. What is far more interesting, far more important to discover, however, is what is to be done with all of the hours that are yet to come. The hours, but for miracles and fate, are in front of me now.
Not a single one of those hours will be wasted on petty nonsense, gossip and destructive thoughts. Those hours will be filled with joy and pleasure. With love both given and received. With a firm resolve to live those hours and not simply pass them.
This year has been one of discovery, one of recovery and one of limitless possibilities. I will never again take for granted the notion of Someday. Someday is now. Someday is in my hands and Someday is mine to have and to hold.
I am holding on to Someday and I am not about to let go.
Indeed...
No comments:
Post a Comment