Last night I did something I had never done before. It was something on my personal "Bucket List". Now I have had a Bucket List long before the film starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman was ever released. In fact I didn't call it a Bucket List, I didn't call it anything. It was simply a personal "to do" list I had in a bound journal that sits on the desk in my office at work.
Up until recently my personal Bucket List, for the most part, contained locations I wanted to visit, Umbria, Italy, Mount Rushmore, County Mayo Ireland, Napa, California. It was a sort of travelogue if you will, a map of places I wanted to visit. Following a life changing experience, my personal Bucket List underwent a dramatic revision. It now focuses on experiences, things that would impact me in a personal way, enrich me. It has more to do with living life than visiting one. I still want to visit all of the places on my previous list....but now I am more focused on what I am doing rather than where I am going.
Last night I decided I was going to go for a swim. It was late, my son was asleep in bed, no one else was at home. My 24 year old daughter had just come in from a Brad Paisley concert. I was heading out the door to the pool area when she asked what I was doing. I told her I was going for a swim and to join me. She didn't want to swim but wanted to sit with me.
When we got out by the pool I told her to leave the lights off. I was wearing a bathrobe and nothing else. I told her that I had planned on skinny dipping for the first time in my life and if she didn't want to see her mother naked she should not look while I got in the water. Her jaw dropped. She was speechless...she asked what was going on with me. I simply told her that was doing something on my Bucket List and slid into the water.
I felt wonderful! Alive! Invigorated! I swam the length of the pool and back listening to my daughter's laughter ring out. I swam to where she was sitting and asked her to join me. She said no and kept laughing. I told her how good I felt, how I had always wanted to swim naked and how wonderful I felt in that water.
I asked about her own Bucket List...asked if she had one...and indeed she did. She told me a few of the things she had on hers, and like my old list, hers was a series of vacation spots. She asked then about mine. I told her, quietly and personally, some of what was on my list. I told her how my list had changed, mostly because I had changed. I talked about what things I wanted, what things I had not yet done. I talked. I had never talked to her like that before.
It's not often a child sees a parent naked. Stripped bare both figuratively and metaphorically. I had bared myself in body and thought. Shown myself without artifice, decoration and embellishment. I let her see me...really see me as a person and not a parent. I told her what I had hoped for in life, what I wanted and what I wished for. It was a moment I'll not ever forget.
I was not bothered that she did not join me in my skinny dipping. Not in the least. At 24 she's just not there yet. She doesn't see life the way I do, had the experiences I have had. She doesn't know the importance of having some experiences or know what experiences she really wants. She's not where I am. She has a whole life to live yet, her own self to discover. She is not ready to bare herself quite yet, not even to herself. Oh but she will ...she most certainly will. Someday.
Indeed.
Up until recently my personal Bucket List, for the most part, contained locations I wanted to visit, Umbria, Italy, Mount Rushmore, County Mayo Ireland, Napa, California. It was a sort of travelogue if you will, a map of places I wanted to visit. Following a life changing experience, my personal Bucket List underwent a dramatic revision. It now focuses on experiences, things that would impact me in a personal way, enrich me. It has more to do with living life than visiting one. I still want to visit all of the places on my previous list....but now I am more focused on what I am doing rather than where I am going.
Last night I decided I was going to go for a swim. It was late, my son was asleep in bed, no one else was at home. My 24 year old daughter had just come in from a Brad Paisley concert. I was heading out the door to the pool area when she asked what I was doing. I told her I was going for a swim and to join me. She didn't want to swim but wanted to sit with me.
When we got out by the pool I told her to leave the lights off. I was wearing a bathrobe and nothing else. I told her that I had planned on skinny dipping for the first time in my life and if she didn't want to see her mother naked she should not look while I got in the water. Her jaw dropped. She was speechless...she asked what was going on with me. I simply told her that was doing something on my Bucket List and slid into the water.
I felt wonderful! Alive! Invigorated! I swam the length of the pool and back listening to my daughter's laughter ring out. I swam to where she was sitting and asked her to join me. She said no and kept laughing. I told her how good I felt, how I had always wanted to swim naked and how wonderful I felt in that water.
I asked about her own Bucket List...asked if she had one...and indeed she did. She told me a few of the things she had on hers, and like my old list, hers was a series of vacation spots. She asked then about mine. I told her, quietly and personally, some of what was on my list. I told her how my list had changed, mostly because I had changed. I talked about what things I wanted, what things I had not yet done. I talked. I had never talked to her like that before.
It's not often a child sees a parent naked. Stripped bare both figuratively and metaphorically. I had bared myself in body and thought. Shown myself without artifice, decoration and embellishment. I let her see me...really see me as a person and not a parent. I told her what I had hoped for in life, what I wanted and what I wished for. It was a moment I'll not ever forget.
I was not bothered that she did not join me in my skinny dipping. Not in the least. At 24 she's just not there yet. She doesn't see life the way I do, had the experiences I have had. She doesn't know the importance of having some experiences or know what experiences she really wants. She's not where I am. She has a whole life to live yet, her own self to discover. She is not ready to bare herself quite yet, not even to herself. Oh but she will ...she most certainly will. Someday.
Indeed.
1 comment:
Skinny Dipping
Nice and relaxing.
Baring the inner you
I find it hard to reveal a new facet to an old acquaintance, especially one that was deeply guarded. A new revelation within myself I can share. Being able to talk openly to your daughter is good. Probably easier for the both of you now she is a woman.
Bucket List
Yes the youthful eagerness to be at places and see things is a compelling one. I still can't see how that is not some way of being at the same time. However flying visits are so superficial, I found that out after emigrating.
My "to do" list is quite short. I don't know if that means I'm busy, contented or short sighted. What is on the list is mostly still visiting places, personal Meccas and Grails. There are some action items that are taboo, so they have been filed into a much deferred category.
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